Stay-at-home orders:  Simply to keep people from getting out to plan with others how to reassume their liberty from government gone rogue.  (Of course, Dr. Fauci says that this order can be disregarded if you’re calling up a stranger to come to your house to have sex.  He says that you have to be willing to assume some risk to have sex with a stranger, but you cannot risk leaving your house to go for a walk on the beach; the beach is much too risky by comparison.)

Limits on the number of people who can gather together:  Simply to keep people from effectively planning to reassert their rights, as in conspiring against those who deny them the ability to provide for themselves and their families.  (I wonder if Dr. Fauci would be okay with multiple people getting together to have sex, that is, as long as none of them know each other.)

Socialism-distancing of six feet:  To keep people from being able to speak to each other in hushed tones so as to keep plans for taking back their liberty from the ears of snitches.  (Did I mention that Dr. Fauci says that this distancing can be disregarded if you’re calling up a stranger to come to your house to have sex? He says that you have to be willing to assume some risk to have sex with a stranger, but you cannot risk leaving your house to go to your mom’s house; your mom is much too risky by comparison, unless your mom is gone and you’re using her house to meet a stranger for sex.)

Closed churches:  Unlike during the period when the people were seeking God’s face, that being when planning to kick out the British, this wasn’t really necessary today, it turns out.  But, of course, the plan today was to find out which churches had pastors who’ve read and understand the bible and its admonition to obey God, not man.  Of course you have to understand that those who disobey men (King George III and Dr. Faucgele) run the risk of losing their tax exemption.  Poor pastors, how would they afford their mammon?  (I’m not sure, but Dr. Fauci probably would let you go into a church to meet a stranger, or strangers, to have sex.)

Closed taverns:  Liberals just cannot stand to see anybody have any fun.  (Except, of course, meeting strangers for sex.)

No hand shaking:  You just cannot seal the deal to pledge, with a firm reliance upon the protection of divine Providence, lives, fortunes and sacred honor with a fist bump or paired thumbs-up from six feet apart.

Thank you,

Je suis Spike